Just for Heather

Sonnet 130

My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;

Coral is far more red than her lips red:

If snow be white, why then her breasts be dun;

If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.

I have seen roses demask'd, red and white,

But no such roses see I in her cheeks;

And in some perfumes is there more delight

Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.

I love to hear her speak, yet well I know

That music hath a far more pleasing sound:

I grant I never saw a goddess go--

My mistress when she walks, treads on the ground:

And yet by heaven, I think my love as rare

As any she belied with false compare.

My Best Friend is an Answering Machine

I couldn’t breathe without you here
But now you’re gone and I have to say I care
I don’t know why you push me so far away
Either way I want to bitch cuz it’s not fair

I live with just our memories
I call day and night--you never answer
When I’m so hurt I want to reach to you
I feel my screams seem like a whisper

And now I feel after all these years
That we were nothing but a dream
Because my best friend in the world
Is an answering machine

I have my husband
I have my baby girl
But you’ve always been there
Through every triumph in the world

And now you’re gone
I can’t possibly get you back
Is there something that you need
That somewhere I must lack

Through the drugs,
through the smoke and lies

You can tell me you're so busy

I don't believe your alibies

Boston College is so expensive

and your education is supreme

If you feel that I'm unimportant

I feel my best friend is now an answering machine....

~To Mathew Caldwell, my best friend who has become my "friendly stranger" (the next poem to come) since he traveled to Spain for his schooling. Next he's off to the Columbian stock exchange...good for him...but he's my best friend, but I'm selfish. He's always been the only one to understand me, even when, back in the day when I thought I was gay. He may be, but apparently I'm not :)

My Favourite Book

Imagine being hypnotized and taken to a land far, far away...not just physically, but subconsciously and not only distance-wise but historically. What if that place was locked deep within your subconscious and happened to be one of your past lives? It would change your life forever. In Brian Weiss' first book, he explores the realm of the impossible with a real-life patient of his he calls Catherine. When he first meets Catherine, she is suffering from tremendous phobias that have made her life riddled with pain since she can remember. He tries multiple different types of therapy, when he finally turns to the less renowned and highly controversial hypnotherapy, which to his surprise leads her not to her early childhood memories, but to life memories from many centuries ago on completely different continents.

He leads her through many different lifetimes, where she comes face-to-face with some people whom she holds very dear to her in this lifetime, also confronting the harsh realities of the origins of her worst fears present-day.

While she heals from her afflictions, she also learns important lessons about life, her faith and in turn, death.

This non-fiction changed everything I thought I knew about life and death. I read it when I was probably fifteen, again when I was eighteen, and once again this summer, along with the rest of the series of Weiss' including Only Love is Real, Same Soul, Many Bodies and Through Time into Healing.

Read them! I give them twelve thumbs up! Dr. Brian L. Weiss is the psychologist of the millenium!

Scarier Than Thou

I have this childhood memory that haunts me. It scares me to the core of my being and the thought of widespread bibliocide disgusts me so much that when I think of it, I want to lean over and purge my guts of the hideousness which scars so many of my peers, my fore-generation, and surely generations to come. The memory is this:

I am a third grader, sitting at my third-grade sized desk--the ones with the cubbies full of crayons, cut up construction paper, and littered with folded up notes passed among giggling children. The class is being obnoxious and noisy while the teacher attempts to teach why it is that we celebrate Thanksgiving (the G-rated version without all of the Indian killing and slavery), when suddenly Mrs. Huddle turns around, noticably annoyed. That piercing staredown she gives us informs us that we are in serious trouble.

What is she going to do to us this time? Will she slap our hands with rulers like the horror stories my Dad told me of his growing up? Will she, heaven forbid, call our parents into the Principal's office? Is she going to keep us in from our beloved recess, or worse, make us stand on the wall and watch all of the other third-graders play four square and tether ball while we wish beyond wishes we could play?

No.

It is worse. "Fine. You guys don't want to pay attention to me, pull out your books." The class groans as we all go to the book case to grab our fifteen pound textbooks.

"Read the next three chapters before recess or you'll be staying through your recess until it's done." In unison, the class cries NOOOOOooooo! Not reading!

Punishment. Reading? Yes.

No wonder half of my peers can't spell or read. My college peers. College students (and for that matter, some of my teachers) can't spell simple words like "scarier". OUR FORMER US PRESIDENT, for crying out loud!

So I'm hoping for a revolution--I'll call it the RR, Reading Revolution...come on people, let's open a friggin' book!

For all mothers...

oh, mother in-law,
with the best of intentions,
I'm sorry to say--
this is your intervention....
I've tried oh so hard
with a smile on my face,
but subtlety is failing,
and I'm losing faith.
So I'm saying here now,
before this heads south--
Get that piece of pie
Out of my baby's mouth!
She's too young for a sucker
She's not big enough for cake
When I tell you No
that advice you should take!
And don't let your dog
Lick her poor lips
Would you let him lick you there?
He licks where he sh*ts!
You got to raise your kids
and you did just fine
But step back, oh mother in-law,and Let me raise mine!

Blossom

She is the first true love I ever knew besides her father
Don't want to be apart, but I study so I can be her provider
But there's something ripping me apart
Because all day I'm not beside her
And the tears well up and they pour onto the wheel
Of the car that I'm steering down this road.
The lines are all a blur but I somehow make it through
as my shoulders crumble beneath the weight of my load.
But I'm coming to her now, to bring her home where she belongs
I choke down my tears so I can finish up the songs,
The love I feel for her proves some God up there is awesome
I just wish, my child that for just one day, she wouldn't blossom.

I've lost track of how much she's learned since I'm in college
I was keeping a tab, but she's overflown with knowledge
Somedays I feel like she's running away
But she's nowhere near that yet-hasn't gained that priveledge
Daycare is a thief, now stealing my time now with finesse
Nobody knows it but I'm an emotional mess
For the first time not seeing her sprout each day
Has me holding myself together less and less,
But when I see her in the evenings, I fall in love again,
And when I wake up in the mornings, I know that will never end
My Morgan Baby, MoJo, my fingers, I will cross them
That at least you'll take your time...wait for me to blossom.

A work in progress.......